Condolences
by Fadingspirit
Summary: Just an old fanfic that I found while going through old documents. Haven't looked at this thing in a really long time and I had completely forgotten that I wrote it. Enjoy!


**I honestly don't know what this is. I was just going through old documents and found this. I thought I'd share it with you. Enjoy.**

...

I closed my eyes, wanting it to all be over. It was too depressing. I wanted someone to jump out from behind a tree and say it was all a joke, that it wasn't real, or I wanted to wake up from this horrible nightmare.

It started to rain, honestly I wasn't surprised. Even the skies were suffering. The courtyard cleared and soon I was the only one left. I slowly walked over and placed my hand on the cold, wet stone wall. It felt right, like it was supposed to be there or something. I felt a tear slip down my cheek, but I didn't wipe it away. If someone could see me now, ha, I'd be the laughingstock of the school, but that didn't matter. Nothing mattered. Nothing could matter, not when she was gone.

Classes resumed a few days later. Everyone was happy, they acted like she wasn't gone, or she never existed. How can everyone be happy in a time like this? My sister was dead. I wouldn't ever see her again, and they could just laugh it off. It wasn't right.

I sat by the lake. I had decided to stay at Hogwarts over Christmas. There was no point in going home. There was nothing left for me there. It was New Year's Eve, midnight, I gazed up at the black sky and watched the fireworks explode before my eyes. I remembered the last time I had done that. She had been there with me. My heart ached, at the very thought. I quickly stood up and hurried back to my dorm.

I slowly walked into the Great Hall. I hadn't eaten in here since she died. I barely had eaten anything. As soon as I stepped inside, a silence fell over the room. I felt all eyes on me as I made my way to the Gryffindor table and sat down. My eyes flickered to the empty seat next to me. Her seat. I recalled the last time she had sat there, with me.

 _(Flashback)_

 _I sat down next to my sister. "Hey." She said, grinning._

 _"Hi." I grinned back at her. She already had her plate filled with food, and was greedily shoving it in her mouth. One of the many things we had in common was the way we ate._

 _"Guys, please stop, some of us are trying to eat here!" Lily complained. She looked like her food was about to come up for seconds. My sister laughed._

 _"Please Lily, I know, it's just fun to annoy you." My sister said, grinning. Lily rolled her eyes._

 _(End flashback)_

I looked over at the hopeful faces of my friends. I looked at the food.

"I've lost my appetite." I said, before standing up and leaving the Great Hall, much to the disappointment of almost everyone. I hurried up to my dorm, once inside, I pulled a book out from under my bed. I sat down and opened it. It was a photo album. One of me and my sister. I looked at the first photo. It was taken on platform 9 ¾ on our first year. My sisters long dark hair was pulled up in a ponytail, her stormy gray eyes were filled with excitement. The joy of finally being able to attend Hogwarts had been captured in that moment, but it didn't last long.

After looking at a few photos I decided to put the photo album away. I stood up, after tucking the album safely under my bed, to find a note on my bed. I picked it up.

 _Mr. Black_

 _I give my condolences to you and your family. Miss Black's belongings will need to be packed away. I ask that you do it, as you were her brother. Please have all of her belongings packed away by January 14._

 _Sincerely, Albus Dumbledore._

I knew someone had to pack her things, but I wished it could wait. I glanced up at the calendar. It was January 13. Whoever delivered the letter, must have delivered it late. I sighed. I stood up and made my way to the girl's dorms. I knew exactly which one was hers. As first years, her dreams were always haunted by our parents. She needed someone to comfort her, so I volunteered. Though it also consisted of sleeping in the same bed as her.

I opened the door. Everything was exactly how she had left it before she died. I walked over to her nightstand. There was a notebook sitting on it, I picked it up and opened it. It was her sketchbook, the one I had given her for her 12th birthday. I looked at the first sketch.

She was sitting on a couch in the Gryffindor common room, reading a book. James and I were playing wizard chess by a table, Remus was sitting at a table, studying, and Peter was laying on the floor doing nothing. It was such a happy memory, and I had very few of those. It didn't seem fair. Mother and Father hated me, Regulus hated me, she was the only family I had left, and she left me.

I felt the tears spill out of my eyes, as I recalled her face, as the Deatheater attacked her. It wasn't her fault, it was mine. It should have been me dead, not her. But it was too late. If only there was some way to go back and change the past. I knew of course that that was impossible, but I could still hope, and dream. I stood up, someone else could pack her belongings. They caused me to much pain. I grabbed the notebook and made to leave, when something caught my eye. On her bedside table was a golden necklace. I picked it up. It shimmered in my hand. At the end of the gold chain, was a star, engraved in which were the words: _I love you_. I sighed as I recalled when I gave it to her. I noticed that there was a piece of paper attached to it. I was a note. I slowly read the note.

 _Sirius,_

 _I know that by the time you're reading this, I'm probably dead. I just want you to know that it wasn't your fault. I knew I was going to die years ago. I wasn't sure when or how, but the Deatheaters have been after me for years. Sirius, I do apologize for leaving you, and I hope you will forgive me. Voldemort has wanted me dead, since the moment I was born, and honestly I don't know what stopped him from killing me. I just want you to know that it wasn't your fault, and I love you. Also on the other side of this paper is my Will, like I said I knew I was going to die so I wrote a Will. Just remember Sirius, I will always be with you, and I love you._

 _Your still loving sister,_

 _Castor Black_

My breath caught in my throat. She knew she was going to die and she didn't tell me. My mind swarmed with emotions. I ran out of her dorm and right into James.

"Sirius, what's wrong?" James asked, concerned. I didn't answer, and instead handed him the note. James's eyes widened when he read it. "Wow." He said after a moment. He gave the note back to me and pulled me into a hug. "Sirius, it wasn't your fault." He whispered. I felt like an idiot. I mean here I was having to be hugged by my best mate.

"I feel like an idiot. This is so embarrassing." I said. James chuckled slightly.

"Sirius, your sister just died, you don't have to put on the brave act." He said. I nodded. "I know."

…

I stood in Dumbledore's office, holding Castor's Will. Dumbledore just watched me.

"Mr. Black you can put the Will away, you won't be needing it." He said, smiling slightly. I nodded. "I called you here, because your teachers have been concerned that you're not getting your work done." He said.

"I don't care." I replied.

"Mr. Black I understand that Miss Black has just passed, but that should not stop you from completing your work. If your sister was here she would want you to stop mourning and get your work done."

…

It had been two years. Two whole years since Castor had died. Two whole years since I felt complete. Two whole years since I'd sworn to avenge my poor little sister. And yet I'd failed. That stupid cursed Deatheater who had murdered her was still out there, completely unharmed, and completely unknowing of the pain he'd caused.

I was laying on my bed when there was knock on the door. "Go away." I yelled. The knocking continued. Wow, this person was persistent. It wasn't James, Remus, or Peter cause they would have just walked in.

"Fine, come in." I called, wanting to get the encounter over with. I heard the door open. Soft footsteps came my way.

"Sirius?" A soft voice drifted through the curtains. It was just Lily.

"What do you want?" I asked, annoyed.

"Sirius are you okay?" The voice came again.

"Look, just go away. I don't want to see or hear you right now." I demanded, a little to hardly.

"Siri, I'm sorry." I froze. Only one person called me Siri.

"Wow, very funny. Well I'm not going to fall for this prank." I said, glaring at the curtains.

"Prank? Siri I'm not pranking you. I just thought you'd want to see me." Lily said.

"Yeah, sure Lily, why would I want to see you?" I asked. The footsteps stopped.

"Lily?" Lily asked.

"Yes, Merlin, Lily don't you know your own name?" Lily sounded heartbroken when she spoke again.

"You know Siri, we've lived together long enough that I expected you to know my name." And with that the door to the dorm closed.

I leaped out of bed. I flew over to the door and flung it open.

"If you're not Lily then who are y..." I trailed off, and just stared at the girl in front of me. Her long dark hair fell to her waist in loose ringlets, her stormy gray eyes were on the verge of tears, her pale skin matched mine perfectly.

"Sirius?"

I just stared at the girl. A carbon copy of my sister.

"Who are you?" I asked, my voice horse.

"Siri, I…..I...I thought you would recognize me. Has it really been that long?" She asked, tears falling down her face.

"C….C….Castor?"

…

 **Yeah, again, don't know what this is but oh well.**

 **\- Fadingspirit**


End file.
